Have you ever cleaned the windows in your house and been amazed at how clear everything looks? Many of us have dirty windows and don’t realize how much better things can look because we don’t really notice that our windows need to be cleaned. I think dirty windows are a good metaphor for how parents can get discouraged if their children are not excelling in school.
Your child needs you to have the best and clearest perspective on their needs and development, so it’s critical that you view them through the “clearest windows” possible.
Here are three areas where I often see some parents not focusing enough, which can distort their views on progress and hinder their child’s math success.
1. Internal Optimism: While we all try to express optimism to our children, saying things like, “Billy, don’t get down on yourself; you will improve, just keep working hard,” do you truly deep down believe the positive comments you are saying to your child? Kids can pick up on how much a person really believes in them, so we need to be very careful about what and how we speak to our kids.
If you’re not fully, internally optimistic that your child will eventually do well in math, your pessimism will fog up your view of the future. Instead of believing in solutions, you may subconsciously look for rationalizations that support your real view that your child will always struggle in math.
To truly help your child as much as you can, get clear on this: you need to believe that anything is possible, and that there is a way (even if you don’t know it) for them to excel in math.
2. Focus on Winning Smaller Victories: One way to distort your perceptions is by trying to focus on too much at once. Students in a middle and high school math course will be learning several hundred little skills throughout the year.
Try not to think so much in terms of whether your child will get an A, B, C, D, or F in this course. Instead, focus on whether your homeschooler understood the math lesson today. Shift your viewpoint on progress in math to smaller, more discrete chunks. This way, your assessment of how well your child is doing will be much more precise and real-time, allowing you to make quicker adjustments to help them stay on track.
3. Stay Fully Engaged: Not staying fully engaged and updated (every day if possible) on what your child is doing in math is a sure way to have “dirty windows,” blocking you from seeing what is really going on with their child’s education.
I know that it can be a lot of work to stay on top of everything your child is doing, but the rewards of staying fully engaged will include having a clear assessment of your child’s progress.
Moreover, your daily engagement will remind your child that you have total commitment to their education—they will know that you are behind them 100%.
Final Thoughts
Homeschooling and being a parent are challenging. However, nothing is more important than being able to see clearly when it comes to your child’s progress, as it’s the only way you can truly help them grow.
So take the time to reflect on your perspective and attitude and make sure you are gauging them from the right measurements—trust me, everything looks better from a clearer vantage point.
